If there is something that is for sure guaranteed in life, that is death. You can't outrun death. You can't trick it. You sure as hell are not smarter than death. What you can do is learn to accept it!
Now obviously this is easier said than done. How to do stop grief from winning. You take back your mental health. You seek treatment. You seek a group support. You seek God or whatever higher power you believe in. Death is going to come for us all in the end. A lot of our problems are that we believe we are smarter than death.
The truth is we never know how each person is going to handle the loss of someone we love. We see people grieve and we think "man, he really needs to get over it." You can't just jump over the fact the death takes a little bit of us with them when we lose a loved one. We also see the strong mother who buries their child and not one tear falls down from their eyes. What we don't see is the breakdowns at night, the cries and screams in the shower, the breakdown of their body, mind and soul.
This weekend holiday I lost another friend. This year death has taken four people I loved and cared for, and each death has taken a little bit of my heart, my mind and my soul with them. Each death has hit me different, but each death is in real time.
It isn't in slow motions we just become slowed down because our thought process gets stuck in error mode before it powers back on, and we feel the wave of it all. When Matthew died, I sat in my driveway and felt absolutely nothing. I called my family and friends and told them with a calm voice. I told them I was fine; I was smart enough to ask for a ride because I knew I couldn't drive. Once I got off the phone a few minutes past and I screamed and yelled out to God because why today of all days? (My Birthday May 16, 2024)
When I got picked up, I was in shock, I walked inside with no emotions, no feelings, no movement but I was moving, I saw him, and I couldn't hold it in. I stopped crying before I walked out of his room. The second time I saw him I was with all my family, and I don't even remember much of what happened. The last time I saw him he was in a casket.
The next few days I laid in bed barely moving, so much I could not even open my eyes, and I sat and cried to God to heal me. Give me strength to move, give me courage to face the pain. I found support in other people who experienced death. I found reading and counseling to understand the process of it all.
I found out I couldn't stop death, but I could stop myself from breaking down and possibly losing more than the one I loved and cared for. I could have lost myself. So, today is the day you take back your emotions and you fix your mental health, and you don't let death take or give you anything else.
Today you accept that you can't outrun death, but you can stop death from taking your emotions. Take back your strength and your life.
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