It wasn't just me who lost someone. My girls also lost a father figure. They lost the strong father figure they needed.
I have been able to keep moving because I have to stay strong for my girls who have also lost someone they loved and considered a father.
This is also not my girls first loss of a father figure.
So, I wouldn't be authentic if I wasn't being honest about everything.
My girl's dad was sentences to 18 years in prison. He has to do a minimum of 10 years before he can come back out. By then most of my girls will be in their 20s. Too late for any type of fathering if you ask me.
He went to prison in 2019. He was also in and out of prison. Also, back and forth from being sober. So, when Matthew came around it is safe to say we were missing something. Matthew did fill that missing piece. We were all looking for something. Love, acceptance, a father, and strong man figure, a protector. Matthew was all of that.
My girls have been doing okay. I don't think they have gotten the full concept or maybe they have. I do know everything we have been through they are more resilient to the loss of someone. Is it fair? No, it isn't! Does it make it easy. It will never be easy. We just keep going.
It Just Wasn't My Lost
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